motherfucking.site

~3KB. No JavaScript. No bullshit. Zero dependencies. Zero fucks given about your "modern development workflow."

Note: This page is satire. If you're mad, you're probably the target audience.

What the fuck happened to the web?

Remember when you could just write some HTML, sprinkle a bit of CSS, throw it on a server and call it a fucking day? Yeah, me too.

Now you need a fucking package.json, seventeen config files, a build pipeline, fucking github actions, and a node_modules folder heavier than your motherfucking mother.

Where is the fucking Cookie Banner?

You’re looking for it, aren’t you? You’re twitching, waiting for a modal to slide in from the bottom and cover 40% of the screen asking you to “Accept All” so I can sell your retina scan to an advertising firm in Delaware.

There is no cookie banner. Why? Because I’m not tracking you. I don’t care who you are. I don’t care about your “user journey.” I don’t need a heat map to tell me you scrolled down. I know you scrolled down because there’s text down here.

By not spying on you, I saved us both 50KB of JavaScript and a legal headache. You’re welcome.

Here's what you actually need to make a fucking website:

• HTML (the thing browsers actually understand)
• CSS (to make it not look like shit)
• That's it. That's the motherfucking list.

Here's what you DON'T need:

• React, Vue, Angular, Svelte, Solid, or whatever framework dropped this morning
• Webpack, Vite, Parcel, Rollup, esbuild, or Turbopack
• TypeScript (JavaScript with extra steps and a superiority complex)
• Tailwind (inline styles with extra steps)
• npm, yarn, pnpm, bun, or whatever package manager is trendy this week
• A "Senior Frontend Architect" to explain why your button needs 47 dependencies
• Docker to run npm install
• A CI/CD pipeline to deploy a fucking landing page
• 10 AI agents to build your website for you

No, it doesn't run "On The Edge"

Stop trying to put your static blog on the “Edge.” You are not Netflix. You do not need your “About Me” page replicated in a data center in Mumbai to save 12 milliseconds of latency for a user in Ohio.

And this site doesn’t need “Hydration.” Do you know how stupid hydration is? It’s like buying a painting, painting over it with white paint, and then painting the picture again while the viewer watches. This is HTML. It arrives hydrated. It’s moist by default.

But what about—

No.

Your blog doesn't need a fucking state management library. Your portfolio doesn't need a fucking state management library. Your restaurant menu doesn't need a fucking state management library. Fuck that shit.

SSR, CSR, SSG, SSRR, etc. Fuck that shit. Fuck that shit. Fuck that shit.

The modern web development experience:

1. Run npx create-whatever-app my-app
2. Wait 3 minutes for 847 packages to install
3. Get 12 security vulnerabilities (6 high, 4 moderate, 2 "who gives a shit")
4. Run npm audit fix
5. Now you have 15 vulnerabilities
6. Spend 2 hours configuring ESLint to stop yelling at you
7. Finally write "Hello World"
8. Build fails because Node 18 deprecated, Node 20 is out, and Node 22 is coming out next year
9. Cry
10. Question your career choices
11. Come back to Bihar and start farming like your father and grandfather

Meanwhile, this website:

• Loads instantly (because there's nothing to fucking load)
• Works on every browser
• Works without JavaScript (because it doesn't have any)
• Will still work in 10 years (HTML doesn't have breaking changes, you fuckers)
• Can be hosted anywhere (including a literal potato)
• SEO friendly (search engines can actually read it)
• Accessible (fuck your virtual DOM)
• Doesn't track you (I don't give a shit what you click)
• Mobile friendly (it's just text, it reflows automatically)

It respects your system preferences

“But my eyes hurt when it’s bright!” Shut up. I added @media (prefers-color-scheme: dark). That’s it. Three lines of CSS. I didn’t need a Context Provider, a useTheme hook, a toggle button with a sun icon that spins, or a flash of unstyled content (FOUC).

If your computer is in dark mode, this site is in dark mode. If it’s not, it’s not. I don’t dictate your life choices, I just write the code that listens to them.

The node_modules reality check

You want to display "Hello World" and suddenly you need:

• is-odd (to check if a number is odd)
• is-even (because apparently is-odd wasn't enough)
• left-pad (eleven lines of code, crashed the entire internet once)
• is-number (in case you forgot how JavaScript works)
• 500 other packages you've never heard of

Your node_modules folder is now 2GB. Congratulations, you've invented digital hoarding.

A message to framework creators:

"Just because you CAN make things complicated doesn't mean you SHOULD, you absolute fucking donuts."

— Everyone who just wants to make a goddamn website in 2025

The solution

Write HTML. Add some CSS if you're feeling fancy. Maybe, maybe add a tiny bit of vanilla JavaScript if you absolutely must. Upload it. Done. Go outside. Touch grass. Pet a dog. Fuck the rest of the world.

Stop overengineering everything. Not every website needs to be a "web application." Sometimes a website can just be... a website.

But I need interactivity!

No you fucking don't. But if you insist:

• Forms work without JavaScript. They've worked since 1995.
• Links navigate pages. Revolutionary, I know.
• CSS can do animations, accordions, tabs, and dark mode toggles.
• The <details> element exists. Use it.

And if you really need JavaScript, write it yourself. It's probably like 20 lines. You don't need a framework.

In conclusion

The web used to be simple. It can be simple again. Stop letting "best practices" written by people selling you complexity dictate how you build things.

This entire page is one HTML file. About 35 lines of CSS. Zero JavaScript. Zero dependencies. Zero fucks given about your "modern development workflow."

It works. It's fast. It's readable. It'll outlive whatever framework you're using.

Now go make something simple, you beautiful bastard.

0% AI Generated Content

This text wasn’t vomited out by a hallucinating chatbot. I wrote this with my fingers. On a keyboard. Using a brain that runs on caffeine and spite, not a billion dollars of GPU credits.

You know why this reads like a human wrote it? Because it has soul, motherfucker. An LLM didn’t “optimize” this copy for engagement. I don’t have a “prompt engineer.” I have a text editor and a bad attitude.

Inspired by the legends at motherfuckingwebsite.com, bettermotherfuckingwebsite.com, and thebestmotherfucking.website.

This page weighs less than the average website's favicon.

This page was created by a stupidly annoyed developer named Tushar Gaurav.

P.S. If you view source on this page and see a <div> nested inside another <div> without a damn good reason, you have my permission to come to my house and smash my router.